Regret

I have a very bad habit of saying things without really thinking about them and silences can make me feel really awkward so that means I start over-talking to compensate. I often regret the things I say and last night when I talked to the young men about my mission and shared a thought with them I spent over an hour before falling asleep reviewing in my mind the things I should have said. I should have engaged them more, I should have had them play a little game to get some of the ones who didn't care, involved. I shouldn't have said that Tyler would beat them ;) if they misbehaved. I should have told the, about my mission president and how we revered and tried so hard to follow his example. I tossed and turned and regretted so much the things that I said. I do that with normal conversation too, I think too much and regret far more than I should. It would bring me a lot more peace if I resolve not to replay over and over again every situation that I think would be better after it's all done. President Uchtdorf said in a conference address that we determine our own happiness. We do, we can choose to be however we wish to feel or think. I love this excerpt from president Uchtdorf's address:
"We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available--all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.”

Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.

Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts. I love the quote: “One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”

We are commanded “to give thanks in all things.” So isn’t it better to see with our eyes and hearts even the small things we can be thankful for, rather than magnifying the negative in our current condition?"
I know that this is true and as President Uchtdorf later states that;
"The Savior can wipe away our tears of regret and remove the burden of our sins. His Atonement allows us to leave the past behind and move forward with clean hands, a pure heart, and a determination to do better and especially to become better. (Of Regrets and Resolutions)"
I shouldn't lose sleep over the dumb things I may have said and continue to live in the past. If there is something to be repented of then of course, repent and move on. If there is a situation I need to fix, then do what's right and press forward. I'm grateful for the gospel and for the knowledge of our Savior and of the power of the Atonement.
Kelly Kelly